Drinking...

I love Mountain Dew and I REALLY love Cherry Pepsi. I like chocolate milk and I REALLY like beer. Just kidding. Kinda.
Another "secret" to my success that's really no secret at all is I quit drinking my calories. Luckily, I like water preferably ice cold without the ice- water. It's easy for me to drink. I've also noticed it's true sometimes our bodies think we're hungry when we are actually just thirsty. I admit while counting calories I switched to diet soda simply because it was 0 calories but I just don't love it, especially the diet versions of my favorite regular sodas. Diet Cherry Pepsi is ok and Diet Dr. Pepper I could do occasionally but all the additional ingredients seem shady and I'd rather just stick to water. I flavor it when I'm feeling crazy, Crystal lights are easy and have 10 max calories but watch your sodium levels- some lemonades contain more sodium than a soda. I'm learning not to be a "sipper." If I feel thirsty I try to drink more throughout the day so I don't feel like that, because often times that makes me think I'm hungry when I'm not. Learning your body's que's are key! And as much as I've cursed and hated my body (especially after my lame birth story) my body is pretty "normal" and more importantly I'm getting in tune with it!

Comparison...

Alright everyone who wanted a comparison-here you go. Eek it's kinda embarrassing I let myself get that way although I don't really remember looking that big. Inside I feel like I've always looked the way I do now, it's odd truly.

old jeans vs new

Lots of people post their old jeans and their current size. I always thought this was silly but while I was trying to sell my old jeans I thought what the heck lets compare and I was shocked. The huge difference is in the waist and legs. I'll be honest sometimes when I'm doing laundry I hold up my pants and think wow those are small, I bet they don't fit (although I've worn them before and know they do) and once again they do. It's kinda still surreal to me. When I started this journey my end goal was 150 pounds,  I'm currently under 140 & it almost doesn't feel like I've tried that hard YET!

 

 

The Secret...

I ended a blog with these words and wanted to build upon them a bit more:

The hard work isn't over, it's just beginning. A lifestyle change is a journey, and that is what I'm after not a quick fix shake or a pill. I don't beat myself up over the small things (like the pizza I ate today) I am human, I like pizza. I really like donuts, and I could eat French fries 7 days a week.

 This is just the beginning of my story. So for those of you asking for my secret there you have it. It's no secret at all, it's get off your ass and make it happen. A little support and a lot of dedication and I'm convinced I could accomplish anything now. I have way more will power then I thought, and I'm sure you do too. The mind is such a powerful thing!

Some days I feel like I should be a motivational speaker and then I remember I'm way better at preaching than practicing. Do you know I had a boy in elementary school, middle, and still in high school that I would have given my left arm for him to give me 30 seconds of attention? Or a sweet girl from beauty school I always looked up to because she was not only beautiful but so sweet. These are 2 examples of people who have reached out to me asking me what the "secret" to my success has been. I REALLY like to tell people "GET OFF YOUR ASS!!" Seriously. You don't have to start at an hour on the elliptical, or eating 1200 calories a day but what you do have to do is get off the couch after dinner and take a walk. Even if it's to Reeds Dairy for ice cream that you convince yourself it's better than if you drove there, and you justify it by getting a kids size and sharing with your 2 year old that adores "creamy" as much as yourself. You don't buy Cherry Pepsi because you know if it isn't in your house you won't be tempted, so instead you buy Mountain Dew which you also love but can talk yourself out of unlike the other. There is a few other foods I physically could not have in my house or I would eat them my comfort foods include: Nacho Cheese Doritos & Double Stuffed Oreos.
My other advice: Do what works for you! Some of the rules say: you MUST eat breakfast, and 4-5 small meals a day, absolutely no fast food, no soda, drink half your weight in ounces a day, and definitely don't eat after 7 pm. Although I think all the above are great ideas and starting points they do not fit into everyone's lifestyle. I for one do not like breakfast, I know it jump starts my metabolism and gets me going for the day but it doesn't work for me. If I eat breakfast, and make myself gag down eggs for protein I am feeling half starved well before lunchtime even with a mid morning snack which unless you have a desk job who has time to eat on que every 2-3 hours? Not this girl, not even a snack usually I'm feeling lucky if I can chug a bottle of water before lunch. The best thing I did for myself was to switch up my schedule to figure out what worked and didn't for my body and lifestyle.
Thanks to everyone who said the "you'll never lose weight if..." words to me over the past 9 months you inspired me to do what I thought would work even when no one was watching. Being a picky eater I probably exercise more than I would if I just ate better, but smaller portions worked for me. No matter what you do, take that small step and GET OFF YOUR ASS and move- that's the secret :)

confidence.

I'm going to try and make this short and sweet.  I've said in the past how differently people treat me and mention my confidence level might be a factor here but it's almost like I'm trying to convince myself of that.  If you have known me awhile you can agree confidence has never been an issue I was talking about just this topic with a client when I told him, "I've always known I am awesome." As conseated as that sounds it's mostly true- to a point. I definitely feel more comfortable in my own shoes now, but it was never an area I felt I was lacking in either. Silly I know.

Signing out for the night.
-adios

Men are shallow...

Men are jerks. I debated on the title of this post for a good 5 minutes before I went with my gut. It's true men are shallow- not all I know, I know I shouldn't generalize like that but I have proof behind my reasoning 2 examples:

HUSBAND STOP READING NOW-

#1: Mr. Judy. Let me take you back 7 years. This handsome guy came into get a haircut. He is completely "my type." Ya know. Tall, handsome, country boy, ranch hand, gun shootin wrangler wearing, pick up truck drivin, 10 year older beauty. Now I don't remember exactly flirting with him at the time but I'm nearly certain I did because not only was he eye candy I had gone as far to know he was single, no kids, blah blah. What I do remember is the "I'm not giving you the time of day" conversation we had and quite frankly he never seemed that attractive since.
Rewind to present day: Mr. Judy comes in to get a haircut as he's been doing every 2-4 weeks the last several years and what do you know I'm cutting his hair. I remember thinking he was quiet, but not in a shy type of way just the hurrier kind. He asked me if I'd been cutting hair long (and stated he hadn't seen me in the salon before), if I was from the area, what I liked to do for fun,  just very friendly. When he mentioned he was from Ririe I threw in the husband word as they had something in common, followed quickly behind the 2 year old daughter. What happen next floored me. Mr. Judy very openly 'hit on me' for lack of better words. This is the same guy years earlier I'm certain I basically threw myself at and he didn't even know I existed all these countless times. Everything that he mentioned was "attractive" has not changed with the 45 pound weight loss ei: my eyes, my love for the outdoors, the country girl I was raised as, the farm talk I knew.

#2: Meet Jared- he gets his haircut at least every 2 weeks. He's divorced and has a few kids. Jared is very particular about his hair and a few of us girls know just how to cut it without him having to explain each time those areas. If I am working when he comes in he would typically wait for me, unless another one of his favorites was ready first but he wasn't the type to wait for too long if someone else was available. On this particular day Jared waited while I cut 2 other customers hair and a few stylists were standing around waiting do cut hair- 1 of those stylists being one of his "go to girls." This was odd, and very unlike Jared. Our convo was different during his haircut this day. He told me 3 times- three freaking times "you look nice today." 2 of those times he asked if he had mentioned how nice I looked. I have seen Jared out and about numerous times over the years and it was always a very casual "hi, how are you?" He knows I'm married, he knows about my daughter and although he is very handsome (side note: I don't think every guy is beautiful the two above just happen to be!) he still found it necessary to ask if I would be anywhere the following weekend alone.

HUSBAND MAY START READING AGAIN NOW-

WOWZA! Men ARE shallow!
My point being. I am still the same person on the inside no matter my weight. I wish I could say I like the extra attention and randomly being checked out but I don't. I don't because I am pretty sure these are the same guys just 6 months ago wouldn't have taken a second glance. I've thought maybe I hold myself different so people treat me different (confidence topic to follow soon) but I don't believe that is the case. I admire people who treat me the same today as they did a year ago.

I admire that in this crazy self conscious appearance world my husband was able to look past the extra pounds and love me for the person I was on the inside. Do you know David never mentioned my weight, and after I had Afton and gained 20 pounds I asked him if he would tell me if I wasn't attractive because of it and his reply went something like "you're beautiful but if you get much over 200 pounds I might buy you a gym membership" He laughed and we joked about it, but as the scale was creeping closer to that number the comment rang louder inside my head. A lot of people ask what David says or thinks about me now and the truth is he doesn't say much. He definitely comments more on the self discipline and desire I have to get up early and exercise more then the actual weigh loss. He looks at me the same way. He loves me just the same, although he likes to give me crap and tease "just because you weigh 135 pounds doesn't mean you can't... or you should..." David knows I don't need the constant praise. He knew when I first started a few simple words was enough and it didn't have to be dwelled upon. I love that he knows me well enough to look past the surface, saving me from loosing weight for all the wrong reasons and ending up with a Mr. Judy or Jared.

Am I sick?

Most of you heard my Arctic Circle story on Facebook if you haven't it went something like this:

I took Afton to play on the toys at Arctic Circle one evening. Their toys are small enough she can actually enjoy playing on them and lets be honest I wanted ice cream, I love ice cream, ice cream could very easily be my weakness- and donuts yum... donuts. Anyway, I splurge and got an oreo milkshake with my burger and fries. I'm not feeling too guilty because by this point in my weight loss journey I've accepted I can't forbid ice cream entirely because a- when I did splurge it would be an entire carton rather than a kids size milk shake. b- I knew this evening was coming and I would indulge so I ran an extra 20 minutes on the elliptical that morning, and c- I skipped out on the extra 200 calorie snack I had packed for work. So while I'm enjoying my ice cream and watching my adorable child play (picture just in case you didn't believe me in her adorableness)

I notice a lady approaching I knew, kinda. I worked with her daughter years and years ago in high school and she had been into the salon before, that's why I refer to her as an acquaintance. I was sitting at the table she walked up said, "Tiffany, I didn't recognize you. You have lost so much weight. Are you sick?" My reply, "no, I'm as healthy as ever and you are an asshole." She stared at me and I stared at her back like shoot did that just happen, did those words just fall out of my mouth? Then just as quickly as she walked up, she turned and walked away. I had been asked before things like, "are you feeling ok? were you trying to lose that much weight?" etc and I knew it was just a matter of time before I could no longer smile, be kind, and explain myself so every flipping person who asked. Unfortunately, it happen to be on the 65+ year old lady I took the months of negative comments out on. I instantly burst into tears when she walked away.  No one (except my hubby, a few close family members that stayed overnight, and girls who heard me complain at work) knew that I woke up at 5 a.m. each morning to get my workout on so I had plenty enough time to get it in before my daughter woke up. It took such dedication on my part and here people start to assume I'm unhealthy or look sick. I remember those tears turned into anger the longer I sat there and I thought how sad is it the world thinks 150 pounds looks "sick". I found comfort in knowing I was doing this the healthy way and it was coming off slower then the people who only saw me every 6-10 weeks to get a haircut realized. I felt better than ever. My sweet family would reassure me I did not look sick it was just such a huge difference especially in my face people would say these comments. I've learned not to take what people say to heart. Now days if I hear a negative comment you will typically hear me respond with "thank you." An example: I hadn't seen my dad in a while and when he walked into my work to get his haircut he said something along the lines of "my hell Tiffany what are you on the starvation diet?" My reply with a genuine smile "ha no way dad but thanks for noticing." If you know my dad you know that is his way of saying 'wow sis you look good, but I can't say that so I'm going to make some sarcastic smart ass remark instead.' I like to think everyone is like my dad when I hear those comments, like they don't know what else to say so that is how they approach it. I do however have to remind myself constantly to care less about what people say and more about how I feel.
More of that and self confidence coming up at a later time.