Drama...

How many times have you heard it: People leaving jobs/school/a specific city/a relationship to avoid "drama?" I saw this quote on fb and had to share. Granted sometimes our life is dramatic and we have very little control over it but how YOU handle it is everything. I choose not to interact with these sorts of people, and avoid the situation because lets be honest I'm a woman and that means I'm dramatic enough- it's in my blood I'm not afraid to admit it. I stress over things I can not control, and not enough about the things I can. So be it friends. This weight loss journey has allowed me to see myself and the world in a different way. People can treat me the way they want and say what they please but how I react to it is my choice and no one can make me feel a certain way unless I allow it. Point being I don't allow those thoughts to sink in. Mind over matter- the mind is such a powerful thing. Trust me I tell myself daily I do NOT need chocolate, I want it sure but I don't need it then I have a 2 minute debate in my head of the pro's and con's or trying to make myself feel guilty so I don't indulge. Yesterday I gave in and had a snack size Hershey bar- chocolate has never tasted so good. I savored that moment.

I got off on a different subject rant- welcome to my brain! :) Speaking of chocolate we are officially headed camping now and I'm so thankful where there is no cell phone service there is also 0 calories in every food I eat. I'm looking most forward to peanut m & m's, cool ranch dortitos, and smarshmellows (smores minus the chocolate) BAM! :)

mowing the lawn vs. cookies

I had a serious debate in my head this morning. Should I mow the lawn or make cookies (to take camping this weekend)? Both NEED to be done, but I didn't have time to do both. So I laid in bed an extra 10 minutes debating then I thought: I'll ask Afton.
Me: Afton should we make some cookies or go outside and mow the lawn.
Afton: Mommy just snuggle me and watch Mickey.

and that is what we did! This little girl of mine is so fun, I love her to pieces. Yesterday when I picked her up from "school" our convo went as follows.
Me: Did you have fun at school with the kids today?
Afton: I sure did!
Me: You are so cute, who made you so cute?
Afton: Daddy made me crazy, mommy made me cute.

That's the truth kid, don't you forget it either!

Did I mention we're going camping this weekend?! I can hardly contain my excitement. This is also the same weekend I had planned on a girls weekend in Boise- damn the luck. It was a hard decision, but not that hard ;) I hope your weekend goes as fabulous as ours!

parenting 101 continued...

My last post was being difficult and wouldn't let me upload anymore pictures. My point was Afton is 2 1/2 and still has a pacifier on top of that she is NOT potty trained. She almost was and then we started her in daycare and that took a dive this is also about the time she became more attached to her "numi" as a comfort thing. Here's the thing. I'm not that mom. If you know me, I'm pretty critical, strict if you will but when it comes to parenting and my child I'm more laid back and I'm ok with that- for now. By all means, she is MY child, right?

How many adults have you seen with pacifiers? And exactly how many college students wear diapers? My point exactly. At one point or another I'm hopeful she'll give one up and master the other.



By all means it could be worse- she could have 2 numi's at the same time?! :)

Parenting 101...

Today I'm discouraged. It's strange to imagine how I felt 40 pounds ago on days like this. Sometimes I feel like I was more comfortable in my own skin weighing in the 170's. I felt less pressure, less stares at stop lights, less compliments, and I was fine without those things. I hate when people say to me "your husband probably can't keep his hands off you NOW" I get that one a lot. David has never been able to keep his hands off me from the moment we started dating, after the wedding, at 9 months pregnant, at 180 pounds, sweating like a pig on the elliptical, while I'm trying to sleep, or now in the 130's- that seems to be one of the few things in my life that hasn't changed. I appreciate that. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm proud he knows how awesome I am on the inside no matter what I look like he's never been ashamed to show me off. With that being said I knew I wanted to blog today, it's Friday AND my day off- BAM! But I don't want to talk about me anymore this blog is more than my journey so lets talk about our sweet daughter Afton and my parenting pitfalls.

I am an  uptight person. I'm a strict person. I never wanted my child to have a binkie, but as time would tell she was a sucker, I could nurse for hours on end and she would eat, spit up, and continue sucking. I thought she wasn't getting enough in her belly until her peditician said, "some children just like to suck." It's a comfort thing. She sleeps good. She eats good. She never had nipple confusion. She loves her "numi"

This is Afton the day we brought her home from the hospital (note the pacifier):



This is her a few weeks old (note the pacifier):




This is Afton when she realized 2 will fit in her mouth at the same time:

Drinking...

I love Mountain Dew and I REALLY love Cherry Pepsi. I like chocolate milk and I REALLY like beer. Just kidding. Kinda.
Another "secret" to my success that's really no secret at all is I quit drinking my calories. Luckily, I like water preferably ice cold without the ice- water. It's easy for me to drink. I've also noticed it's true sometimes our bodies think we're hungry when we are actually just thirsty. I admit while counting calories I switched to diet soda simply because it was 0 calories but I just don't love it, especially the diet versions of my favorite regular sodas. Diet Cherry Pepsi is ok and Diet Dr. Pepper I could do occasionally but all the additional ingredients seem shady and I'd rather just stick to water. I flavor it when I'm feeling crazy, Crystal lights are easy and have 10 max calories but watch your sodium levels- some lemonades contain more sodium than a soda. I'm learning not to be a "sipper." If I feel thirsty I try to drink more throughout the day so I don't feel like that, because often times that makes me think I'm hungry when I'm not. Learning your body's que's are key! And as much as I've cursed and hated my body (especially after my lame birth story) my body is pretty "normal" and more importantly I'm getting in tune with it!

Comparison...

Alright everyone who wanted a comparison-here you go. Eek it's kinda embarrassing I let myself get that way although I don't really remember looking that big. Inside I feel like I've always looked the way I do now, it's odd truly.

old jeans vs new

Lots of people post their old jeans and their current size. I always thought this was silly but while I was trying to sell my old jeans I thought what the heck lets compare and I was shocked. The huge difference is in the waist and legs. I'll be honest sometimes when I'm doing laundry I hold up my pants and think wow those are small, I bet they don't fit (although I've worn them before and know they do) and once again they do. It's kinda still surreal to me. When I started this journey my end goal was 150 pounds,  I'm currently under 140 & it almost doesn't feel like I've tried that hard YET!